Are You a Good Mother?
May 23, 2019
Mother’s Day is almost upon us, and even as we are showered with gifts and treated like queens – that doubt never quite goes away, a question we ask ourselves at the end of every exhausting day – “Am I a good mother”?
We ask ourselves this every time our child falls sick and someone says “not again” – when we snap at our children after a difficult day at work, and even on Mother’s Day, many mothers don’t feel quite worthy of being called a great Mom.
Often, Mothers are built up to be larger than life. We all love and know of mothers. Our own stay-home mothers may have had much more time with us – to cook meals from scratch, to talk to us, play with us, craft with us. But today, a mother has to live up to so much more. She has to break glass ceilings at work, create Pinterest-worthy crafts, keep the home sparkling, keep up with parent-teacher meetings and enrichment classes, and still find time to work out, lose that baby weight, and somehow squeeze in “self care’ in between to “feel balanced”.
If reading this list of things modern Mums are expected to be is already making you tear up – please remember this – we are Mothers, not superhumans, and the best Mother is a happy and present mother. Your child doesn’t care if he or she is living in a spotless, designer home or if their meals are organic, cooked from scratch, or if their crafts are made from three kinds of recycled materials.
What they DO care about and remember is having a mother who was PRESENT during their childhoods.
What matters is the SMALL things you do everyday in their lives – any snack bento will do as long as it was packed by YOU, and every bedtime story is magical because it’s told by Mommy. You are the centre of their world and they will always love you - so ditch those unrealistic societal benchmarks and be a Mom on your own terms - you’ve got this!
It’s quality that counts, not quantity. So, even if you can only afford to spend one hour a day with your child – make that one hour a fully-present hour. That’s something your child would truly love.
So, next time doubts about mothering creep into your mind, look at your child’s drawing. It isn’t perfect, but it’s sincere and pure. That’s what matters to you – it’s the effort that’s put in that matters. The quality of effort that’s what matters - and that’s precisely what your child sees when he/she spends time with you. It’s the language of the heart that matters!